The Daleks And The Sueification Machine
by The Tin Dogs Bollocks
Summary: After the shambles that was Journey's End, four Daleks remained to concoct a new plot against the Doctor. What better way to get to him than through his apparent fondness of female humans? And the name of this plot? The Mary Sue Project.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I've been uploading loads of stories recently, no idea where they're coming from. I shouldn't complain though... Anywho, this story was born after casting an eye over a few Mary-Sue fics. If I'm honest I didn't even know what a Mary-Sue was until I joined up on , but as soon as I did I was fascinated by them. They're hilarious, really (even though the ones I read weren't meant to be). So I've finally decided to have a go at my own Mary-Sue story. And there has to be Daleks. So, Daleks and Mary-Sues... I hope you enjoy it :D**

**Disclaimer: I own a Mr Ozio CD and a David Bowie poster. No Who there I'm afraid.**

* * *

**Doctor Who and the Sueification Machine**

**Chapter One **

The Daleks were sick of losing. It was just getting beyond a joke really. Recently it seemed like every time they had asserted themselves as the dominant species in a particular area something went wrong. Usually due to some ridiculous reason like having the 'Destruct All Daleks' button on the same controls they used to make the coffee. Or because they were too busy arsing about shouting '_Exterminate_' or _'Appreciate' _or _'Pro-create_' and other words ending in _–ate_ to kill their enemies when they had the chance.

After the shambles that was the frankly insane plan to set off a dimension canon (half the Daleks hadn't even understood what they were doing that day, it just sounded like fun) their numbers had dwindled drastically. The only reason four Daleks survived was because they hadn't been wearing their tracking kits that kept them linked up with the rest of the fleet. If the Supreme Dalek had found out before he exploded he would have zapped some pepper-pot behinds. But, as it turned out, there was no one to bollock the last four Daleks for their slip-up as all of the obedient Daleks had carked it.

As soon as everything went tits up, the four remaining Daleks slipped out under the radar and flew through space until they found the nearest, safest little planet so they could recover. When they had landed the planet had been full with strange bipedal creatures, but a bit of shouting and some zapping soon cleared them up. So now, with the entire Dalek Fleet destroyed and the Time Lord and his human companions lording it over Earth, the Daleks had to come up with a new plan.

'_I AM SICK OF THESE FAIL-ING PLANS._' Dalek Fez cried, making circular motions with his plunger to emphasise his annoyance. '_WE NEED TO THINK OF SOME-THING THAT WILL PROP-ER-LY ASS-ERT OUR DOM-IN-ANCE IN THE GAL-AX-Y IN-STEAD OF MAK-ING US LOOK LIKE ID-I-OTS.'_

Dalek Dave turned his eyestalk towards the other three. He usually kept himself to himself, partly because he rarely had anything of use to say (he was one of the few Daleks who found megalomania hard to embrace) but mostly because he coincidently had a name that was very common amongst humans. For that, the other Daleks tended to gang up on him. '_PER-HAPS WE SHOULD JUST GET A NICE SUM-MER PLACE_,' Dalek Dave suggested. _'TAKE A TIME OUT TO THINK OF A BET-TER PLAN. ONE THE DOC-TOR WILL NOT RUIN SO EAS-IL-Y._'

'_SHUT UP DAVE_.' Dalek Thel screamed at him. _'STOP TALKING OUT OF YOUR PLUNG-ER. THE TIME LORD WILL NOT EX-PECT US TO ATT-ACK SO SOON AFTER DEF-EAT-ING US._'

'_HE DID NOT SEEM TOO SUR-PRISED IN NEW_ _YORK_.' Dalek Sarc pointed out. _'I THINK WE SHOULD JUST HOLD UP SOME INN-O-CENT TOWN ON EARTH, WAIT UNTIL HE ARR-IVES AND EX-TERM-IN-ATE HIM. THAT IS WHY WE AL-WAYS FAIL. WE LET HIM RAMB-LE ON ABOUT IN-SIG-NIF-I-CANT THINGS IN-STEAD OF JUST SHOOT-ING HIM.'_

'_YES,'_ Dalek Fez screeched. '_I THINK WE HAVE GATH-ER-ED THAT_.'

'_I THINK I MIGHT HAVE A PLAN_.' Dalek Dave offered, raising his plunger tentatively.

'_PER-HAPS WE COULD POSE AS INN-O-CENT CREA-TURES AND LURE THE DOC-TOR TO US.'_ Dalek Sarc said, following suit with the others and ignoring Dalek Dave completely. _'WE COULD PUT ON WIGS. THEN WHEN THE DOC-TOR LEAST EX-PECTS IT, WE SHALL JUMP OUT AND EX-TERM-IN-ATE HIM_.'

'_SARC,'_ Dalek Thel screamed at him. '_YOU REALLY NEED TO EX-TERM-IN-ATE SOME-THING_.'

'_I KNOW,_' Dalek Sarc screamed back. '_IT WAS NO FUN IN ACC-OUNT-ANTS._'

'_I THINK I HAVE A PLAN-_' Dalek Dave tried again.

'_DAVE, CAN'T YOU SEE WE ARE TRY-ING TO THINK OF SOME-THING TO CAP-TURE THE DOC-TOR? STOP IN-TER-UPT-ING_.' Dalek Fez ordered.

'_BUT I THINK I HAVE A PLAN.'_ Dalek Dave insisted.

'_I THINK DAVE HAS A PLAN_.' Dalek Thel pointed out.

'_FINE,'_ Dalek Fez shrieked. _'WHAT IS YOUR PLAN, DAVE?'_

'_WELL,' _Dalek Dave moved from side to side nervously and pointed his eyestalk down. _'THE DOC-TOR SEEMS VERY FOND OF HU-MAN BE-INGS, SO PER-HAPS IF WE CRE-ATED THE ULT-I-MATE FE-MALE COMP-AN-ION, ONE THAT THE DOC-TOR COULD NOT RES-IST, WE COULD USE IT AS A WEA-PON TO FIN-ALLY EX-TERM-IN-ATE HIM ONCE AND FOR ALL_.'

The other Daleks looked at Dalek Dave long enough to make him very uncomfortable. Then they pointed their eyestalks at each other.

'_I'VE GOT IT,_' Dalek Fez announced suddenly. '_AS THE DOC-TOR IS SO FOND OF HU-MANS, WE COULD USE THEM TO BRING HIM DOWN ONCE AND FOR ALL_.'

'_GEN-I-US_!' Dalek Sarc cried.

'_IT CAN-NOT FAIL!'_ Dalek Thel agreed.

'_THEN THAT IS OUR PLAN._' Dalek Fez announced. _'AND SINCE I CAME UP WITH THE PLAN, I WILL OVER-SEE IT_.'

Dalek Dave raised his plunger. '_IT WAS MY PL-'_

'_WE MUST GET TO EARTH!_' Dalek Fez screamed. '_THE PLAN WILL BE REF-ERR-ED TO AS THE MARY-SUE PRO-JECT!_'

'_EX-CELL-ENT_!' Dalek Thel cried.

'_WHY CALL IT THE MARY-SUE PRO-JECT?'_ Dalek Sarc asked.

'_MARY-SUE IS A COM-MON HU-MAN NAME._' Dalek Fez explained.

'_NOT AS COM-MON AS DAVE_.' Dalek Thel replied.

'_IT'S NOT MY FAULT!'_ Dalek Dave insisted.

'_SILENCE_!' Dalek Fez screamed. '_ACT-IV-ATE TEMP-OR-AL SHIFT_!'

The Daleks activated their temporal shifts. Three of them vanished in a flash of light. Dalek Dave struggled with his activation sequence.

'_ACT-IV-ATE YOU STU-PID-_'

There was a fourth and final flash, and Dalek Dave disappeared.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews everyone, lol! I read it over again as soon as I posted that first chapter but I still can't figure out what was wrong with my brain when I started it. Anyway, as long as my temporary insanity continues I believe this story will too. And this Dalek talk is getting very annoying to type already :P**

* * *

**Chapter Two**

'_THANK YOU FOR DEC-ID-ING TO JOIN US, DAVE_,' Dalek Fez shrieked as Dalek Dave materialised alongside the other three. _'WE WERE START-ING TO THINK THAT MAY-BE YOU HAD BET-TER THINGS TO BE DO-ING OTHER THAN BE-COM-ING SU-PREME RU-LERS OF THE GAL-AXY_.'

Dalek Dave lowered his eyestalk in embarrassment. '_SOR-RY_.'

'_WHERE HAVE WE LAND-ED DA-LEK FEZ?'_ Dalek Sarc enquired as he looked around at his surroundings.

'_WE APPEAR TO BE DIR-ECT-LY BE-LOW LON-DON._' Dalek Fez replied, waving his laser and plunger excitedly. _'WHICH IS PER-FECT. LON-DON IS THE NERVE CENT-RAL OF EARTH_.'

'_ACT-UALLY_,' Dalek Dave said. '_IT IS JUST THE CAP-I-TAL OF ENG-LAND. THERE ARE OTHER PLACES WHERE WE COULD IN-FLICT A LOT MORE DAM-AGE ON THE HU-MAN RACE. THERE IS ACT-UALLY VERY LIT-TLE IN LON-DON_.'

'_SI-LENCE, DAVE,_' Dalek Thel barked. _'WHAT WOULD YOU KNOW ANY-WAY? EVERY-THING HAP-PENS IN LON-DON. THE DOC-TOR IS AL-WAYS IN LON-DON_.'

'_THIS IS THE PER-FECT PLACE TO BE-GIN THE MARY-SUE PRO-JECT._' Dalek Fez reported, moving forward and taking in his surroundings. '_IT IS DARK AND SLIGHT-LY DAMP. TO A HU-MAN IT WOULD BE MOST UN-SETTL-ING. WHAT IS THE WORD THEY USE?'_

'_I THINK IT IS CREEP-Y_.' Dalek Sarc replied.

'_PER-FECT._' Dalek Fez shrieked. '_START GATH-ER-ING THE E-QUIP-MENT_.'

Obediently, Dalek Thel and Dalek Sarc whizzed off down the damp, dark corridor. Dalek Dave looked after them both and had a moment of confusion where he didn't know which way to go. Eventually he turned and floated away down the darkest, dampest corridor.

* * *

Three days later (and without the aid of thumbs or fingers), the four Daleks had managed to construct the machine that they believed would bring the end to the Doctor once and for all. If a human were present (and before their inevitable extermination that they would have coming if they were stupid enough to walk up to a group of Daleks) they would point out that it looked very much like a port-a-loo. The Daleks, however, did not know this strange coincidence. To them, this machine would strike fear into every being in the universe. It would be the Doctor's ultimate weakness.

'_BRING FOR-WARD THE SUB-JECT_!' Dalek Fez ordered.

Dalek Thel emerged from the shadows, dragging the human subject beside him. The human was quite grotesque, even by Dalek standards. Its stomach was round and bouncy and its white v-top was covered in various stains. Its face was bloated and blotchy, with frizzy red hair topping it off.

'Get off me you monsters!' the fat female roared. 'Let me go!'

Dalek Thel paused and looked to Dalek Fez. '_SHOULD I O-BEY_?' he queried.

'_NO YOU FOOL. BUT HER IN THE MACH-INE_!' Dalek Fez screeched.

Dalek Thel shook his eyestalk. '_SOR-RY FEZ,' _he screeched in return. _'I JUST GET CON-FUSED SOME-TIMES WITH ALL THE ORD-ERS. A-PPROACH-ING THE MACH-INE WITH THE SUB-JECT_.'

The other three Daleks moved back and watched as Dalek Thel shoved the human subject into the front of the machine. It got stuck in the narrow door. Dalek Thel shoved it, and then rotated the top of its dome to look at the others.

'_THE SUB-JECT IS STUCK._' He reported.

'_UN-STICK IT_.' Dalek Fez screamed.

'_JUST EX-TERM-IN-ATE IT_.' Dalek Sarc cried keenly_. 'I WILL DO IT_!' He aimed his laser at the human.

'_NO!' _Dalek Dave moved forward. _'DA-LEK THEL, START PUSH-ING_.'

Dalek Thel looked at Dalek Dave for a moment, and then pushed the human subject. It squealed and then slipped through the door and into the machine. Dalek Dave moved back and Dalek Thel closed the door.

'_GOOD WORK DA-LEK THEL.' _Dalek Fez shrieked. '_COMM-ENCE SUE-IF-IC-ATION_!'

Dalek Thel moved to the side of the machine and pulled the lever. He reversed and quickly raised his eyestalk to watch the machine's debut. It clunked and clanged, and the human subject inside yelled to be released. It began to shake, and the ground beneath the Daleks began to rumble. They moved nervously, but continued to watch. After a few moments, the machine fell silent. The human subject ceased yelling.

'_SUE-IF-IC-ATION COMP-LETE_!' Dalek Thel reported. '_APP-ROACH-ING THE MACH-INE TO RE-MOVE SUB-JECT!_'

The other three Daleks watched apprehensively as Dalek Thel moved to the door and opened it. A hiss of air escaped, along with a cloud of lilac smoke. Dalek Thel moved back, falling into line with the other three. They waited for the smoke to clear. Then, rising from the silence, there came a voice. To a human this voice would be captivating. Sweet. Heart-wrenching. It would bring any human to their knees, soggy with tears. A human would say it was the voice of an Angel. The sweetest singing ever imaginable.

To a Dalek, however, the sound was similar to nails being dragged down a chalkboard.

'_WHAT IS THAT NOISE?!'_ Dalek Fez shrieked, moving back and forth in aggravation. '_WHAT IS THAT AW-FUL SOUND? MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP!'_

The smoke parted and a figure stepped out. The female had long, smooth auburn hair – the colour of autumn leaves ready to fall from the trees. Her eyes seemed to shimmer a beautiful golden colour. Her skin was smooth as silk without a blemish nor a mole to ruin it in any way. She smiled, her ruby red lips stretching over her perfect, pearly teeth as that sweet voice passed through them.

Dalek Fez was overcome with horror. _'IT IS AN AB-OM-IN-ATION!'_

'_EX-TERM-IN-ATE!' _Dalek Sarc screamed. '_I CAN-NOT TAKE IT! MUST EX-TERM-IN-ATE_!'

Before the other Daleks could stop him, Dalek Sarc aimed its laser at the human and fired. Without a grimace or even a surprised cry, she disintegrated. If the Daleks could smell, they would notice that she had left behind a pleasant floral scent.

'_DALEK SARC, YOU HAVE DES-TROYED THE MARY-SUE_!' Dalek Fez fumed. _'NOW WE WILL HAVE TO FIND A NEW SUB-JECT_!'

'_I AM SOR-RY_.' Dalek Sarc replied. '_I COULD NOT HELP IT. IT WAS TORT-URE._'

'_I KNOW IT WAS,'_ Dalek Fez told him. '_BUT TO DEST-ROY THE DOC-TOR IT IS NEC-ESS-AR-Y. DA-LEK DAVE, YOU WILL HAVE TO GET A NEW SUB-JECT_.'

Dalek Dave looked around. '_WHY ME?'_

Dalek Fez whirled his eyestalk around to him. '_THAT IS AN ORD-ER. YOU WILL O-BEY. OB-EY! O-BEY!_'

'_O-KAY!'_ Dalek Dave replied, already moving to the exit. _'I AM GO-ING. KEEP YOUR DOME ON.'_

The three Daleks watched Dalek Dave leave and then looked to each other.

'_FAN-CY A GAME OF BLACK-JACK?_' Dalek Thel suggested.

'_YES.'_ Dalek Fez nodded his eyestalk. '_BUT DA-LEK SARC WILL DEAL. YOU AL-WAYS DEAL FROM THE BOT-TOM. DO NOT THINK I DO NOT NOT-ICE. COM-MENCE BLACK-JACK DEAL-ING.'_


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

A few hours later and the machine had been prepped by Dalek Thel for its second attempt at Sueification. Dalek Dave had fetched back a slightly gormless female who had followed him eagerly after he told her that she had won a competition. She had even gotten inside the machine without complaint when ordered too. The Daleks had been bewildered at the ease of capturing their second subject. Dalek Sarc had suggested going to find someone who put up more of a fight, but he was ignored. Dalek Sarc was a little too eager for conflict these days, even too much for a Daleks preference.

'_AC-TIV-ATE SUE-IF-IC-ATION!_' Dalek Fez ordered. '_AND DA-LEK SARC, PLEASE DO NOT EX-TERM-IN-ATE THIS ONE_.'

'_I WILL TRY_.' Dalek Sarc replied, crossing his tentacles.

The machine began to clank and clang, light grey smoke billowing out of the top of it. Inside there was a brief yell of bewilderment, but that was all. The ground rumbled. Unbeknown to the Daleks, this rumbling spread throughout London, causing dozens of human pedestrians to wonder if the ground had just shook or their stomachs were rumbling.

Finally, the machine stopped. Dalek Fez looked around at his companions quickly. '_RE-MEM-BER, IT MAY BE EX-CRU-CI-AT-ING, BUT IT IS NEC-ESS-AR-Y._'

The Daleks could only stare at the machine in anticipation. The door opened and the grey mist billowed out. Silence prevailed.

'_THIS ONE DOES NOT SING_,' Dalek Thel pointed out. '_PER-HAPS WE HAVE MADE A MIS-TAKE_.'

'_DA-LEKS DO NOT MAKE MIS-TAKES_.' Dalek Fez insisted.

'_AP-ART FROM THAT TIME THE EMP-OR-ER WAS DEST-ROYED._' Dalek Sarc told him.

'_AND THAT TIME WITH THE CY-BER-MEN._' Dalek Thel added.

'_AND IN NEW YORK.'_ Dalek Sarc screeched.

'_AND DO NOT FOR-GET THAT WHOLE DI-MEN-SION CAN-NON BUIS-NESS._' Dalek Dave shrieked.

'_ENOUGH!_' Dalek Fez screamed. '_I MEANT TO SAY WE DO NOT MAKE MIS-TAKES SINCE THEN. SUE-IF-I-CA-TION WAS SUCC-ESS-FUL_._ THE HU-MAN WILL MOVE FOR-WARD. MOVE FOR-WARD!'_

A figure stepped out of the mist, waving a hand in front of her face and coughing delicately. The radioactive glow from inside the machine silhouetted her perfect figure and made her golden hair shine like the sun. She looked at the Daleks with eyes that seemed to have every single colour imaginable (including Cornflour Blue) circling her beautiful pupils. Her full eyelashes flickered like gothic butterflie as she blinked at them. The shabby tracksuit that the human subject had been wearing before Sueification had somehow shredded and twisted to resemble a gown that complimented the curve of her hips and just showed enough of her smooth, flawless skin without being tasteless. She looked at the Daleks with no fear in her multi-coloured eyes. Being the perfect being that she was she knew that she shouldn't anger the creatures before her. If anything she felt sorry for them. Those poor, confused creatures. She made a mental note to herself that at some point she would create emotions in liquid form so she could make them into useful members of society. Perhaps they could get work in a post office or something. She would be able to do that because, as well as being perfect on the surface, she was brilliantly intelligent and had a fantastic sense of humour.

'_ARE YOU A PER-FECT HU-MAN_?' Dalek Fez demanded.

The perfect human blushed prettily. 'Well no one is perfect.'

'_MOD-EST-Y.'_ Dalek Thel distinguished. '_THAT IS PART OF PERF-EC-TION._'

'_WE HAVE DONE IT!'_ Dalek Fez screeched. '_WE HAVE CRE-AT-ED THE ULT-IM-ATE HU-MAN! WE WILL BRING DOWN THE DOC-TOR ONCE AND FOR ALL_! _ALL HAIL THE DA-LEKS! ALL HAIL THE DA-LEKS_!'

'Now, um, pardon me just a moment.' The perfect being smiled apologetically, even managing to successfully silence the Daleks at her perfectly polite tone. 'I hate to interrupt while you are all celebrating but I just have a few questions.'

'_DA-LEKS DO NOT AN-SWER QUEST-IONS FROM HU-MANS_.' Dalek Thel loudly informed her.

'Yes, I gathered that,' the perfect human smiled sweetly, almost lighting up the dark, damp room. 'But it won't take you a minute. Please?'

The Daleks swivelled their eyestalks to look at each other.

'_OK-AY,'_ Dalek Fez screeched. '_JUST THIS ONCE._'

She beamed at them (making Dalek Sarc recoil in disgust). 'Thank you ever so much. Yes, well… I gather the four of you created me? I must say you're all ever so smart for creating such a brilliant machine.'

The Daleks just stared at her, not knowing how to react to praise.

'Anyway, I was just wondering why you would go to all the bother. I mean, pardon me if I seem a little dippy-' (Here she inserted a giggle that would make any human male melt) '-but I'm not entirely clear on my purpose. Do I have a name?'

Dalek Fez hesitated. '_WE SHALL TELL YOU THE PLAN WHEN YOU NEED TO KNOW THE PLAN. AND YOU CAN CHOOSE YOUR OWN NAME. FRANK-LY, WE DO NOT CARE WHAT YOU NAME YOUR-SELF_.'

The perfect human's eyes seemed to brighten. 'Oh, wonderful!' she beamed, clapping her hands together. 'Now lets see… something meaningful. Hope? No, that's too short. Destiny? Still too short… Hmm… Destineenicialious. Oooh yes I like that. But Destiny for short. What do the four of your think? Destineenicialious? It's got a nice ring to it. Perhaps I should have number too, seeing as I'm the first ever Destineenicialious, I think I should be called Destineenicialious the First. And I think I should be a princess, seeing as I'm the only human to be genetically engineered by Daleks who doesn't have a pig face or is slightly psychotic. Princess Destineenicialious the First. Perfect. Don't you think it's just swell? Just rolls off the tongue.'

The four Daleks stared at her. Dalek Sarc was trembling.

'_MUST NOT EX-TERM-IN-ATE_…' he screamed at himself.

'_YOU WILL LIVE DOWN HERE UN-TIL WE HAVE PER-FECT-ED THE PLAN TO LURE THE DOC-TOR._' Dalek Fez informed her. _'PLEASE KEEP OUT OF OUR WAY AS IT WOULD HIN-DER OUR PLAN IF YOU END-ED UP BE-ING EX-TERM-IN-AT-ED BY DA-LEK SARC_.'

'Not a problem.' Princess Destineenicialious the First, aka Destiny, smiled and nodded. 'Do you have a kitchen? I've got the sudden itching to make some chocolate éclairs.'

Dalek Fez turned to the others. '_THIS PLAN CAN-NOT FAIL. COME, WE SHALL DIS-CUSS WAYS TO LURE THE DOC-TOR OVER AN-OTHER GAME OF BLACK-JACK. DA-LEK DAVE, YOU WILL WATCH THE HU-MAN._'

_'HOW ABOUT PA-TIENCE IN-STEAD?' _Dalek Thel suggested.

'_DA-LEKS DO NOT HAVE PA-TIENCE!'_ Dalek Fez shrieked. '_WE DO NOT NEED PA-TIENCE!'_

_'DA-LEK THEL MEANT THE GAME.'_ Dalek Sarc explained.

Dalek Fez paused. _'OH. VERY WELL. PA-TIENCE IT IS.' _

Dalek Dave lowered his eyestalk in disappointment and turned around to face the perfect human as the other three moved away. She stepped towards him, still smiling.

'Would you like me to polish your plating?' she asked. 'It wouldn't be any bother.'

Dalek Dave turned away and tried to think of anything but extermination.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

Destiny hummed sweetly as she rearranged a stunning bouquet of blood red roses she had been so lucky to find drifting down one of the sewage pipes. Dalek Dave sat with his eyestalk off, trying his best not to concentrate on the nauseating sound that was coming from her voice box. Daleks had never been ones for patience, but fortunately for Destiny, Dalek Dave was an exception. She probably would have been killed by now and the whole plan abandoned if the others had still been hanging around, but Dalek Dave knew that this unbearable human could quite possibly be the key to destroying the Doctor once and for all. And that helped him keep himself in control.

'Oh, excuse me,' Destiny's irritating voice called sweetly. 'It's Dave, isn't it? Yes, Dave, I was wondering if you could just come over here for a moment…'

Dalek Dave hesitated, and then turned his eyestalk back on. Immediately his vision was filled with her beautiful face. It was such a surprise to him that he let out a wail of alarm.

'Oh I'm sorry,' Destiny smiled. 'I didn't realise you were sleeping.'

Dalek Dave felt the familiar jolt of anger that usually occurred right before an extermination. '_DA-LEKS DO NOT SLEEP_.' He told the highly irritating female. _'I WAS MERE-LY PRE-SERV-ING EN-ER-GY._'

Destiny smiled. 'Well in my books that's called sleeping. Don't worry,' She put her finger on his eyestalk cutely. 'I won't tell anyone.'

Dalek Dave practically shook with rage. _'DO NOT TOUCH ME_.'

Destiny looked hurt. 'But I was only trying to be nice.'

_'DA-LEKS DO NOT LIKE NICE_.' Dalek Dave informed her.

Destiny looked at him for a long moment. He wondered what was wrong with her eyes, they seemed to be filling up with water. He contemplated mentioning this to her, but when she wiped her eyes with a perfectly frilly pink handkerchief that she had somehow acquired, he assumed she was aware of it.

'Oh, you know it's not nice being this perfect,' she sniffled, patting the corners of her eyes delicately. 'It's just downright awful. I'm trying to be so nice to you but I know that all you want to do is vaporise me with that little gun of yours.'

Dalek Dave glanced down at his gun, and then back up at her. '_AC-TUALLY,_' he replied. _'WE PRE-FER THE TERM EX-TERM-IN-AT-ION._'

Destiny waved her handkerchief and blubbered. 'See? You're not denying it! To you I'm so vile. Being such a perfect human being just makes me the ultimate abomination to you lot. How would you feel if your creator despised every part of your existence and had to restrain themselves from destroying you?'

'_WELL,' _Dalek Dave shifted from side to side. '_WE ACT-UALLY DES-TROYED OUR CRE-AT-OR. THEN CAAN RES-CUED HIM AND HE RE-CRE-AT-ED US, JUST TO BE LEFT FOR DEAD BY MY-SELF, DA-LEK FEZ, DA-LEK THEL AND DA-LEK SARC.'_

For some reason, beyond Dalek Dave's understanding, this didn't make the female feel any better. She wailed mournfully and blew her nose. 'You're such brutes.' She sniffled. 'I'm trying my hardest to be the best genetically modified weapon of mass destruction, but it is awful hard when you're all being so mean to me.'

Dalek Dave looked at her, but could think of nothing to say. Daleks weren't designed to be sympathetic.

'What I wouldn't give for some nice parents,' Destiny went on sadly. 'In a nice cottage in the Cotswolds or something. Perhaps a puppy, and a job in a quaint little teashop where I could work until the man of my dreams came and swept me off my feet. Perhaps someone who works in advertising.' She paused to savour this little fantasy, and then she wailed again. 'Oh woe is me!' she cried. 'I just want to be normal! I didn't ask to be so incredibly, flawlessly _perfect_!' She threw her arms around the stunned Dalek and sobbed on him.

Dalek Dave didn't move. He stared ahead, hoping that this peculiar leaking human would get off him before he self-destructed out of complete panic. Thankfully though, she got off him before he managed to activate the correct sequence.

'I'm sorry,' she said, wiping her nose. 'I didn't mean to get upset. But you understand, don't you? I want you all to be proud of me. Is it too much to ask for a little support from my parents?'

Dalek Dave lowered his eyestalk, feeling extremely uncomfortable. '_DA-LEKS DO NOT LIVE BY THE HU-MAN IDEALS OF FAM-IL-Y AND SUP-PORT_.'

Destiny blinked her lovely eyelids. 'You don't?' She sniffed again and wiped her nose for the last time. 'You mean… you don't have a mum or a dad?'

'_NO. WE WERE CRE-ATED FROM DAV-ROS HIM-SELF_._ OR SOME-THING. I AM NOT COMP-LETE-LY SURE_.'

Destiny looked horrified. 'Oh that's awful. No wonder you're all so incredibly evil. Everyone needs a good role model. Oh well. I suppose it's not your fault then. Sorry for getting tears all over your lovely casing. Would you like me to polish it again?'

Dalek Dave shook his eyestalk. '_NO._'

'No, _thank you_.' Destiny corrected. 'You need to work on your manners.'

Dalek Dave only looked at her warily. Before she had a chance to launch into a lesson of manners and politeness, the other Daleks arrived. By the way they waved their funnels and guns, they were very excited about something. Dalek Dave and Destiny looked towards them. Destiny wisely fell silent.

'_ATT-EN-TION!'_ Dalek Fez screeched. '_THE DOC-TOR IS IN CLOSE PROX-IM-IT-Y! THE PER-FECT HU-MAN MUST BE SENT TO HIM IMM-ED-I-ATE-LY!_'

Destiny bit one of her perfect finger nails. 'Oh, is it time? Oh dear me… oh I'm so nervous! What if he doesn't like me?'

'_OF COURSE HE WILL LIKE YOU_,' Dalek Thel told her. '_YOU WERE DES-IGNED SO HE WOULD LIKE YOU_.'

Destiny smiled at him. 'Thank you, Thel. I knew you would have the right thing to say.'

The other three Daleks looked at Dalek Thel, but he only averted his eyestalk in embarrassment. Destiny clapped her dainty hands.

'Right then,' she smiled. 'Let's get this show on the road. And thank you all for creating me to be so wonderfully perfect. I'll try my best to be the best perfect person in the universe.'

She smiled brilliantly, causing all four Daleks to throw up inside their casings.


End file.
